Feeling depress I think I lost in my dream living half life can’t distinguish between reality and wishes.
When I close my mind still feeling that happiness when she said yes to me when she said she gunna marry me and would move to Brisbane it was so sweet even it doesn’t take more than one hour, by opening my eyes I face with bitter reality!
Now it’s become long time that she finished with me I know she don’t have feeling with me am kind of over for her. Distance and time killed her feelings but I still open my eyes to her painting every day say good morning to her.
Distance gunna be bigger, it grows so fast she is going far away and I can’t rich her whenever I feel out of control. I was happy I could text her some time I was happy I could see her even if she is not notice visited her now its going to another phase. I wish you know how much I love you...and how sad are my days been away from you. I wish you know that all of my heart is missing because we are away. You are my soul mate. she leave here going back home, now I just should be happy that she is somewhere in the world just like the time that you know you have star in sky but you can’t touch it because of distance. She asked me to search I tried to find good choice for her to take course and stay bit more but she already decided whenever she is deciding for something it’s hard to make her change her decision or at least am not good at changing her mind. She will be back home I want to visit before she is going far don’t know if I can make it. I don’t really know I wish destiny were playing better game for me. My Share from loving her is just distance and missing! Worst than that is I don’t know what she is doing there and I cant be useful for her even though she never asked me for help but I care for her so much. Now I find out that true love is not about the hugs and kisses, the 'I love you's' or the 'I miss you's', but it’s about the chills that hit every part of your spine when you think about it. Many things is happening between me and you I believe these strange things happen sometimes and we don't understand... but everything happen for a reason. So won’t lose my hope still loving her and trying to be her true friend.
Im still here Pouya. Im gonna stay here for about 1 year more. The feeling of 'Im not done here yet' keeps me stay. Im applying for another student visa and still waiting for it.
ReplyDeleteToday I went shopping and there were a lot of Easter eggs everywhere... That scene made me remember Easter day last year when we were in Canberra and I bought a big egg for everyone in Murphys. I was talking with myself that how fast time goes by and how deep those memories are buried in me.
Hope you are going on well. Take care.
Quynh,
Deleteso happy to hear that you are staying now i feel much better and i hope i could visit you again at right time.
Yes the moment we had last year is truly unforgettable now matter what we having in future these things would stay with us forever and for me it takes life time to fall out of you.
I also think about you yesterday, i went to Nossa beach at north of Brisbane with my skimboard to cheer my self up, but that beach had smillar look to north Wollongong beach and i remembered the day we went there you screaming into ocean and I secretly looking at you....
Have a good week and rest well wish you good luck with your new plan. talk you latter
Take care
Pouya