Waiting and worried

Maybe she is busy or change her mind maybe she is angry or don't have internet. just feel so worried i should find out tomorrow. please be fine....
going to bed so sleepy haven't sleep well last night.

One year!

When i hold your hands for the first time i knew that i never gonna release it! no matter what will be happen in the future I'll hold you tight thats the nature of friendship and true love.
I always told you before anything I am your friend and I care about you......
By today become a one year that we know each other.

dostet daram

Spend few days to chase my tears to find my love in the Valentine ’s Day just to see her maybe for last time. I made trouble for Q my travel was unexpected for her maybe she still doesn’t know how much I love her but she cares she comes to visit me and she even argued with her boss and made trouble for her boyfriend just to come and visit me. I was outside all of the day just to in case if she becomes free of work sooner might have a chance to meet her more. I got her a chocolate and red rose to celebrate our deep relation. Finally she came, look restless and tired, quiet stressful maybe because of her bf or because of seeing me I read many things from her eyes. She was trying to control herself smiling for me and make distracted and I as usually just looking at her just like a moth looking for light, flight into it until the light burn its wings. I been excepting her coddle for a long time and wishing this time I could freely cry on her shoulder until I feel better but it’s not happened. I wish I could control myself to not say something that make her sad but I couldn’t stop myself my heart were speaking to her and my eyes crying and my hands shaking. She penitently watching me but after while after she heard my heart voice felt uncomfortable its like she got a prisoner inside and prisoner notice that her love is here wants to break the chain and coming out but jailor won’t let her to comes out. Sorry Q I know its such a suffer for you……………..
She asked me to not come and visit her time to time or just visit her after ten years such a nonsense request does she really think me and her are TV drama?! Or she wants to make her prisoner disappointed? Still looking at her and talking told her I care a lot for I care so much for you and if any time she needs any help I would come and find her do my best to help her. And she said she purposely ignoring me to forget her and move on, she doesn’t know that ignoring me make me more insist make because am stubborn even more than her.
Time passing fast but this time was cold and unpleasant her tired face torturing me I can’t see her restless like asked her if she want to go back sooner but she stayed said had more time. She wanted to know if I have new relationship?! Did she really mean it? Such a lame question I thought maybe she feel guilty about me because I love her and if I have new relation I could forget her better but she doesn’t know that she irreplaceable nobody can make me happy as much as she use to do.
I wish I could put my head in her shoulders and smell her hairs and kiss her neck and give her all I have. Its so true if I leave at street and have nothing in the world but just her I would fill am the richest guy in the world when I say that I really mean it.

Times for another good bye but this time may take very long but I didn’t feel that even though I may not see her for a long time after this. I gave her the flower cut head of the rose and give it to her maybe she can dry it or maybe its already in garbage bin. She left me with no hug to keep my visit as cold as possible am more sad for her prisoner I love you my little Q sorry that am not strong to take you out but know that I am loving you and I know you do for me please stay live and happy maybe there would be a day for us.
I should get ready for going to air port love you so much it was the lasting she heard from me……dostet daram

Coming for visit

I am happy because I would visit her very soon if have a chance to find her if that day be the day that I visit her please be there and please accept my look because i miss and i have no one to love but you.....
god help me to find her

What is happening to me

What is happening to me,

i'm afraid to tell it.

my broken heart

let what i live to be true.

To be a real love

to be the cause and the reason

these eyes that i'm looking at,

to find the love in 'em.

If you're a star

that will bring light into my empty life

never fade out, never leave me

this love never be lost

But if you're a dream, turn off the lights

so i can live in the dreams

never dawn, never end

stay inside me so i can love you

To my own path

everything was dark

my dreams would never

had been reality

but now you're here

and i'm reborn

my end and my start

my life, you are

I have my ticket coming to see you soon even if you dont want me to come!

Sorry

my life now is full of trubles but still she has big place in my heart and my mind. i couldn't control my feeling i need to hear her voice. called her she said alooooooo :( and i hang up the phone her voice was sweet as always. sorry but i should hear you

felt so miss her trying to fix my job and visit her soon.
i want to cry in her shoulder.